I have lost all motivation. Last week I was ll YEAH lets get all my media coursework done and dusted a week before the deadline, lets go home and do some ancient history revision because God knows I’m shit at it, lets do Othello quote sheets just for fun, lets do a timeline for Milton and Marlowe.
But this week, fuck it, fuck it all. My motivation is lost, I have no urges whatsoever to do well in the English Literature essay today, who gives a crap about the form of Paradise Lost whilst analysing an epic simile? Certainly not me. I was supposed to be in college about 3 hours ago and I was all set to be there on time for EPQ and then my alarm went off and I looked at the time and thought ‘Shall I go to EPQ and stare at my awfully SHIT posters and analysis or stay at home and sleep until midday?’ What a competition that turned out to be. But now I feel totally bad for skipping, that’s the second time this year and I promised myself I would never skip again because of Uni and how I might not get into Bournemouth because of my terrible attendance in EPQ. But I just can’t BARE to sit in the stuffy edit suite and attempt to make my posters look passable, because, lets face it, I’m shit at photoshop.
I’ve got to sort myself out, I can’t keep skipping just because I’m bloody knackered all the time and all I want to do is sleep and sleep until all the work and exams and revision and intense pressure to get mega high A Level grades is over and done with and I can just bugger off to Canada with mum and get pissed for ten days. I can’t be like this in Uni, I’ve got to be motivated all the time and ready to work and stay up for 14 hours to do a night shoot in a quarry or a freezing basement or spend entire days in an edit suite cut off from the world editing some shit I’ve tried to make look professional.
I just have a terrible feeling that I’m going to be crap at University.
Sorry, I’m very depressing recently.
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